Have you ever started something that you were so incredibly excited about and that you loved and then somewhere along the line you lost sight and fell away from it? That's this blog for me. I love writing. I find it cathartic and entertaining and inspiring. I love telling my stories and sharing my adventures and a big part of that love is because I spent so long hiding myself and making myself small because I thought that love was enough. I thought that if I just became everything that was "perfect" I'd be happy forever but the truth is, I wasn't truly happy and in the end, shoving myself into a box and pretending to be someone that I wasn't only served to help end that relationship. Pretending to be someone that I'm not and hiding the parts of me that I thought were "wrong" and that no one could possibly love only served to make me depressed and to hurt me over and over again, so here I am.
I'm finding my own feet again and I'm letting my true self shine, unapologetically.
No more pretending to be this bright and shining social butterfly 24/7 when truly I'm only that way once I'm comfortable with the people that I'm around. No more pretending that I'm not obsessed with learning and exploring new thoughts and ideas. No more pursing a degree that isn't going to change my job or my pay check or honestly, isn't going to make me a better nurse. No more hiding. No more lying.
I'm going to dance my heart out every chance that I get because it brings me joy and movement is movement. I'm going to get outside and explore this beautiful place that I'm privileged to call my home. I'm going to finally become fluent in sign language and I'm going to work to also become fluent in Spanish (lord help me). I'm going to create the backyard of my dreams for the home that I love. I'm going to start experimenting with my camera and taking photos of any and everything because it brings me joy and gives me a sense of accomplishment I never knew I could have. I'm going to shoot for the moon and land among the stars and I'm going to love every single shining moment.
I'm going to be ME and this blog is going to be a record and reflection for all that I can and will do. It's like a digital journal that anyone can read and I hope that my adventures (and misadventures) inspire someone else to seek out their own adventures and to be who they truly are. You are loved just the way that you are. I'm happy you're here and I can't wait to see where this journey takes me, and in a way, you too.
Welcome to my remix.